Back to Basic

Back to Basics, alluding to the return to a simple life has been the phrase of the times we are in. When I think of basic I think of basic cable, you know cable that has only the "necessary" channels and not all the others that we seem to think that we need; which by the way we lived without for many of years before we were marketed into thinking that we needed 500+ channels; and yet still we have nothing to watch. Yes, basic, the impetus for this post. How many of us have marketed into thinking that we could not live without this or that, when at one point or another we did? Not only did we live without it we were doing OK. And now after having it, we still feel as if we have nothing.

Basic is defined as a starting point or basis. So going back to basics would imply returning to the basis of who we were, stripping away or casting off all unnecessary acquisitions and attachments. Oprah challenged her audience to the mantra of "Less stuff - more meaning." Living with less stuff or the basic stuff we begin to look at what we truly are and then let go of what we never really have been, the illusion. This can happen in a material way by defining how we live or ridding our homes of excess or it can happen by a shift in our thinking, ridding our minds of excess; shall I say vice versa, because the shift needs to happen in our minds first - just be aware it can change your world!

Divine Goodness

Over the last year many miracles have happened in my life on large and small scales. More often than not, my prayers are answered in ways that are not quite miraculous as we would expect. Like tonight, I had an amazingly busy day with an equally busy night, with the climax being a three hour parent teacher event.

This morning when I reluctantly woke up knowing what was ahead of me, I pleaded with God to please help me just get through today. Well, I got through it. I was relieved by a helpful coworker so I could catch the train, which I missed the first one, got on the second one which arrived six seconds after the first (not usual for NYC), got a seat, and arrived at my daughter's school even before she did. Each teacher had amazing things to say about my beautiful 11 year old. The train home arrived just as we got to the station and my Mother was waiting at home with my bathed and fed 18 month old! When I got home I had renewed energy and was able to clean the kitchen, get the children ready for bed and write this post. On most nights I am exhausted when I turn the key. I write all this to say, that Divine goodness is not always shown by removing obstacles in our path, but rather sometimes it helps us navigate the path, create a new path or giving us enough energy to walk the path.

I am Fortunate, are you?

Tomorrow the Oprah Show will focus on the new faces of the recession. Having seen these faces, and realizing how very much they look like me or my family members and close friends; I have started to reexamine the meeting of fortunate. Many times we believe that to be fortunate we have to have won the lottery, met that amazing partner, or fulfilled some life long desire. Fortunate in this day and time takes on a how different meaning from what we have grown accustomed. Ask your friends what they are fortunate for these days and listen to their responses. You will realize that the answers are closer to the true meaning of fortunate than ever before. We are all thankful these days just at the receiving of some unexpected good which was not dependent on our own skill or efforts; and this is the true definition of Fortunate. Pay attention to all the little ways we have been fortunate today!

Vision, Change and Faith - Why we need all three

A change in my external circumstances provides me with an opportunity to grow as a human being. The greater the change, the faster I can grow. If we can perceive change along these lines, we will find it exciting and energizing, rather than depressing and debilitating. I read this somewhere, and boy am I growing. Its seems that 2009 has been designed with change in mind, so instead of falling under the bus of change, I climbing on it using the steps of Faith. There can be no change without Faith, I am here to tell. There should be neither, without Vision; your Vision defines the change, the outcome, what you desire, and the intended state for your life. To truly see faith in action, you must a Vision for your life, for your future. Envision your future life, change now, and have faith, a confident belief, that what you see, you will be... even without proof, that is --- until you are living it of course!

Survival of a Friendship

I find myself exploring the nature of my friendships past and present with my girlfriends. How these friendships change? How some friendships end and how some have survived through life's many twists and turns. The more I look at it, the more I compare my friendships to a marriage. Can you change, grow and still remain one? Contrary to what I might have believed, that friendships end because of distance, time, etc. I now know that friendships end: 1. because one or both parties are unwilling to live with the growth or lack of growth in another, 2. we feel that our current lifestyle or choices will not be supported by the other so we choose not to involve them in our lives, and 3. this may be the most important, we are so afraid of losing a friend that we will not tell them the truth, so we shy away. A true friend, who has known you for some time becomes an exceptional mirror, that you can see your reflection clearly. They can tell us what is it that we project to the world. They see the insides of us and read our emotions so clearly that we may find this hard to live with.

In our friendships we adhere to this falsehood that true friends don't fight so we never get to hash things out as is needed from time to time in any healthy relationship. As in a partnership/ marriage a good fight clears the air and you can let go of all the anger and move on. You are allowed to speak from your soul and say what you feel. You are allowed to share what is your experience of the friendship. Do you pretend everything is fine when its not? 2009, I pledge to myself to respond with truth, when solicited of course. This I have to remember, any unsolicited advice is not met with an open heart, so respond only when solicited, and respond in a manner that you would like for yourself. I will learn how to fight with a friend and find ways to resolve conflict. This can only mean greater, tested, stronger, more meaningful friendships for me to enjoy.

Just Live Your Life!

Today I heard the phrase "You are never too old to have a new life". This phrase resonated with me thoroughly. You see its never really too late to have a new life, as long as we are alive. If there is a life you have been waiting to live, why not begin today. Each time I think in these terms, I realize that they are parts of my life that are missing from the overall picture. These parts I keep waiting to live , as if there is just the right moment. And this happens to be that moment. Whether its to spend more time doing the things that I love, being in true service or just having more fun in general, each day these have been placed at the bottom of the to-do list. Not anymore! I was reminded today, as a special family said goodbye to their special son, that its not how long you live, its how you live. You can be young in years and have a beautiful, significant, epic of a life story, if you make lasting impressions and live the life that you truly want. To borrow a phrase from T.I. "Just Live Your life!" This is the only moment that counts.

Stress in our Children

As a full-time worker, a mother of three and a business owner, I am no stranger to stress, as I am sure many of you are share this burden. But do we recognize the signs of stress in our children? Please read my latest article on Recognizing Stress/distress in our Children and let me know your thoughts.