Sunday, October 26, 2008

The way you understand love is the way you make love

The way you understand anything is the way you make it, why not love. I have seen my mother make Roti on many occasions, yet I cannot make Roti, why? Because I don't understand all the steps involved in making my favorite dish. I just don't get it. So it is with my sex life, it is a direct response to my current understanding of love. When I understand the woman I am, I feel sexy. It is then my sex life takes on a clarity of its own, this is manifested in me being more open and direct about what makes me feel good and what it is that I want.

In my early twenties, I was not so sure about how I wanted to be loved, because I was not so sure about myself. What I knew about sex came from the pages of Cosmopolitan magazine, I read and then I acted, what I understood was what I read, someone else's experience written out to help us understand the act of sex, a manual much as a car manual is written by someone else and it helps you figure out how to open the hood and check the oil, etc. I know now having read my car's manual how to open the hood and check the oil, but I never do it because, I just don't quite get it. Likewise, though I am grateful to Cosmo for the tips and techniques I learned, it was not my thing. My thing is what I have learned over the years, its precious to me, I gained an understanding of what it is to love myself.

In my relationships throughout the years, I have loved every which way. I loved with guilt therefore I made love with a level of shame, I loved with fear, so I made love with fearing that if I was not good enough I would be abandoned. I loved with a sense of power, not in myself, but power in the act itself, so I made love selfishly, only to hold someone else captive. These experience I can now admit were not true expressions of love.

Now that I am older and I am growing in my understanding of me and my spirit and love itself, I can make love as if I better understand it. I can be sexy and open and even use some of the tools Cosmo taught me because I understand love to be the very nature of the divine, and I am a divine being. We are here because of the power of love. The act of creation is solely based on love, and as a woman I can I become so filled with love that I can create. That's sexy!

The power of love, as I now understand it to be, is the one thing that connects each and everyone of us beyond any barriers, in race, class, or geographical divide. So yes, from a woman's standpoint, sex does get better with age. Age brings understanding, and understaning brings orgasms. And in each orgasmic moment you will begin to see flashes of your divinity.

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