Despartately seeking Solitude

I have been planning, at least on paper, for months now a mini-vacation alone. By mini-vacation I mean a weekend. That's as long I could go with being away from Shiloh. As the days go by I feel more and more overloaded by the election, by wall street, by the job and by my children. Tonight, I heard my favorite Bob Marley song on the radio while driving home and wanted to have that feeling of being completely lost in the moment and time. Impossible when there are three children in your back seat. Just as he got to the part of the song that I most wanted/needed to hear an all out fight broke out between Lauren and Zion. Great! Now its to much to just listen to one song completely? Oh my god, I thought for a moment to just ignore it and focus on the song, FOCUS ON THE SONG!! I couldn't. It was then that realized that my live was completely and totally compartmentalized to maintain sanity. There is a compartment for when I am at work, one for when I am with the kids, one for when I am with my partner and a very small one for me. The feeling of wanting to run away overtook me again. The kind of runaway that takes you beyond your bath, your sacred space or that small window of time before everyone awakes. I wanted the day/days long runaway. I wanted to move at my own speed, write my own agenda, or have none at all. Answer to no one, be inaccessible and unable to be found if only for a spell. I want to get lost in my on solitude.

My day dreams are made of sleeping. Sleeping until well after noon, taking an afternoon nap and falling to sleep at seven in the evening. Drinking sleep tea, soothing my nerves with skullcap and passionflower, laying on a pillow filled with lavender blossoms, on sheets that feel like heaven and sleeping some more. Your feeling of sleep deprivation may not be as intense as mine. So your runaway may be dedicated to different pursuits. All the same. As woman we are overachievers. Giving ourselves the short end of the stick every time. I hope this reminds you to make a promise to yourself to slow down, take your time, focus on the present and see the magic of nature in all creation daily. And when you can run for the hills - ALONE!!!