There has been much talk about raising free range kids. Free range kids are children who are basically are given the same freedoms we had. Check out the website www.freerangekids.com. I have to say I agree with this theory. I agree that today's children are not given the necessary freedoms to develop into wise decision making, independent souls. I saw the author of the article on Dr. Phil who gave her nine year old a subway card and a map entrusted him to take the train on a bright Sunday afternoon from Bloomingdale's to home. A trip he had taken many times with his parents. The only difference this time he was taking it alone. Well, many were up in arms. Needless to say, the nine year old did just fine, he made it home.
Here's my take. We are conditioned to see our children as incapable of independent thought and action. Children have an amazing capacity to make intelligent decisions. I watch three of them do that every day. Lauren is 11 and travels to and from school on the subway. She has a cell phone and knows how to use it. Its her responsibility to get Zion to school on time and pick him up in the afternoon. I can't say it was not difficult on the first day of school when this schedule took effect. However, I have learned to trust both of them that they will do as we discussed.
Learning how to trust your children, however is an art. An ever evolving one. The time will come soon rather than later however that we will need to trust them, so I encourage you to start early. Listening to what they have to say is key. Give them guidance, help them feel secure and safe. Balancing guidance and freedom is delicate thing. Discipline is necessary. Discuss stranger danger with your children, help your children to understand how to commute in busy intersections and other traffic laws and respect them.
Children need freedom to play, discover there imagination, become an adventurer, find their wings. Connecting with nature is key to a child's health. Let your children play outside. Yes, even in NYC. Do remember as children feeling ill and then going to play outside? Your illness disappeared as if by magic. The magic of sunshine, rain, dirt, and PLAY.
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Ahhh...yes, I remember the freedom to play until the sun goes down, rain or shine; no computers, no gameboy-- climbing trees, jumping rope and even playing in the trenches were our daily adventures. We were definitely free range kids, who ate free range chickens....
ReplyDeleteI agree. We have to train ourselves to trust our kids; it is important on so many levels. We want our children to grow up to be independent and alert at all times, so we must give them the tools to do that.
This is not to say that I do not understand why many parents resist giving their children the freedom to play freely outside-- I do understand. What if something happens and you're not be there to protect them, a fearful thought. However, teaching them how to react in dangerous situations and giving them a chance to actually use the lessons you have taught them will give your child a sense of self and teach them a valuable life lesson.
I hope that I take my own advise and give my Jazzy the ability to be a free range kid; to play outside on a rainy day, to get her feet wet, to fall down and get up, to test her limits....to think, to ask questions, to dream.....To be happy!
You absolute get it my sister. Live On!
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