For the last year but more so over the past few months I have been working on my surrender. Waving my white flag to signify my defeat in directing what happen next in my life, the life my children and my relationships. What I have come to learn is that surrender could be the greatest gift I can give myself.
Webster defines surrender as to yield to power, control, possession of another upon compulsion or demand. For a woman who considers what she knows of herself to be an independent person, this is a task. Like many of my friends, I have spent many nights tossing in bed not being able to turn off the brain. I have felt that only me can provide all the answers to my life's greatest mystery/challenge. I have felt that the more I think about the problem the solution would somehow materialize. Oh boy, what power I thought I had.
Realizing that you not can control the very next second of your life puts all of the self torture in to perspective. My life, my health, my sanity demanded and compelled me to master the art of surrender. I realize now that almost all if not everything is out of my control. I realize that I must act with faith and trust in the knowledge that the best solution to my problems will come when I relinquish control. The act of yielding power to the possession of another can bring you true freedom. This freedom comes from knowing that other has your best interest at heart. If you believe in God, Buddha, or another higher power, then you must believe that you are always being guided to your best life. With that reassurance, I can lay my day's needs, desire, dreams and wants all out at night, surrender the notion of control and yield these concerns to the possession of another and fall asleep knowing that today is over there is nothing I can do to change what has already happened and tomorrow will be a new day a fresh start to a new life.
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Your thoughts always reflect my present state of mind. I should be on my knees, with my arms towards the sky surrendering to the greater powers but instead I stand firmly on my two feet with my head held high.
ReplyDeleteHow do I surrender? Don't my actions determine the outcome of my situation? This is what I have been taught and although this in some respects is true,
I know that it doesn't matter how hard I try to be in control of any situation, there is already an end result that has been decided long before the situation even arose.
Being a product of two ideas: one that was instilled in me as a child and the other that was learned through personal development.
Learning to surrender when I have done all that I needed to do is a lesson that I have failed; and neglected to persue. Why? because it is easy for me to believe that I am in control of my situation than surrendering and feeling as if I have given up.
I know that this is a necessary lesson to master, with time and practice, and also being a bit more conscience of my limited power as a human being, I will eventually SURRENDER.
And when I surrender I will let my hair down, lift my arms up and let the universe take charge. I will let my knees fall to the ground, close my eyes and let the tears flow freely drow my face; no shame, no hurt, no control. I will SURRENDER.